Our heroes have just quelled a rock revolution in the elven city of Redfir and are rewarded with an escort to see Queen Kistani, Edgar’s estranged sister. They are escorted to the palace gate by Sheriff Guttendel of the Redfir Rangers, and are met by an anxious member of the Queen's Guard, who thinks the revolution is still unfolding. Once Guttendel explains that our team has restored peace to the land, the Guard launches into a song of gratitude.
lyrics
Guards: (sung; choir-like):
“PEACE HAS BEEN RESTORE-ED TO THE LAND!”
Mustachioed Guard:
“WELL WHO COULD BELIEVE IT?
IT’S HARD TO CONCEIVE IT.
WE NEVER THOUGHT THAT PEACE COULD BE RESTORED…”
Guards:
(“TO THE LAND”)
Mustachioed Guard:
“BUT NOW THAT I’VE SEEN THIS,
I SAY- AND I MEAN THIS,
I THANK YOU ALL FOR SEEING PEACE RESTORED…”
Guards:
(“TO THE LAND”)
Mustachioed Guard:
“WHEN WE SAW THE ROCK REBELS
WE SAID ‘HERE COMES TREBLE’...
WITH ALL THE CONFUSION,
WE REACHED THIS CONCLUSION:
OUR LIVES WERE AT STAKE
SO WE BARRED UP THE GATE
AND WE BURIED OUR HEADS IN THE SAND!
BUT NOW A DAWN RISES
AND TO OUR SURPRISES
WE FIND THAT PEACE HAS FINALLY BEEN RESTORED…”
Guards:
(“TO THE LAND”)
All:
“OH, PEACE HAS BEEN RESTORED TO THE LAND!
EDENNIAN HEROES, WE GIVE YOU HAND.
WHEN THINGS HAD NOT GONE QUITE AS WE PLANNED,
YOU WERE THERE TO TAKE A STAND!
AND RATHER THAN ADD FUEL TO THE FIRE,
OR MAKE THE SITUATION MORE DIRE,
YOU CHOSE TO MAKE MUSIC, WHICH DID INSPIRE
A CHANGE!
AND PEACE IS RESTORED (TO THE LAND!)”
Jocasta:
“Um… Edgar? Do the guards here always… burst out into song when they’re grateful?”
Edgar (Annoyed):
“Yes, Jocasta… yes they do…”
Sheriff Guttendel:
“This is bloody brilliant! Can I have a try?”
Guards:
“Why not!?”
Sheriff Guttendel:
“Love it!
(singing)
WELL, WHEN I FIRST MET YOU
YOU KNOW I COULD BET YOU
COULD FIND A WAY TO SEE PEACE WAS RESTORED…”
Guards:
(“TO THE LAND”)
Sheriff Guttendel:
“WITH ROCK MUSIC FORBIDDEN,
AND YOUR TALENTS HIDDEN,
YOU MADE FOLK ROCK AND THEN PEACE WAS RESTORED…”
Guards:
(“TO THE LAND!”)
All:
“OH, PEACE HAS BEEN RESTORED TO THE LAND,
AND BY A NEW EDENNIAN BAND!
IF WE CARRIED ON WE SURELY GET CANNED,
BUT NOW WE’RE HERE TO STAY!
SO NOW WE’LL GET YOU PREPPED FOR THE QUEEN!
WE’LL DOLL YOU UP AND MAKE YOU LOOK CLEAN,
(subito piano)
AND IF SHE HAPPENS TO SAY SOMETHING MEAN,
FUCK HER…
(fortissimo)
FOR PEACE IS RESTORED (TO THE LAND)!”
Roscoe:
“You know, Pugface, I’ve never actually been bathed by another person before.
Or really bathed myself, for that matter!”
Pugface:
“Ya know, bud? I feel weird, for sure, but also… it’s kinda nice to be pampered!”
Mustachioed Guard (out of tempo):
“AND SO GOOD HEROES, ONCE YOU HAVE DRIED,
I WILL ESCORT YOU, BEAMING WITH PRIDE.
FOR NOW WE HAVE NO REASON TO HIDE…”
All:
“FOR PEACE HAS BEEN RESTORE-ED TO THE LAND!
AND WE’RE SO GLAD THAT PEACE HAS BEEN RESTORED!
(TO THE LAND)!”
Lead Vocal (Mustachioed Guard/Sherriff Guttendel): Michael Doherty
Back-Up Vocals (The Queen's Guard): Michael Doherty, Dan Kazemi, Alex Keiper & Matthew Mastronardi
Instrumentation by Dan Kazemi
Additional cymbals by Steve Gudelunas
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