Gamemaker:
In the cozy yet bustling village of South Taliashire, Pugface Doodleop, the gnomish tailor’s apprentice, awakes and finds herself filled with great excitement. (Pugface is heard stretching) Last night, at the local Brew Pub, she saw an aging elf named Eddie the Bard perform, just a really solid acoustic set. But Pugface is almost certain it was her musical idol, and former lead singer of the rock band, ElfMother: Edgar Hawke.

Pugface:
"Mm-hmmmm!"

Gamemaker:
What’s more is she saw him leave with her childhood friend and next door neighbor, Roscoe Chubb. Pugface, what do you do?

Pugface:
Uh, I’m gonna wake up, I’m gonna tussle my hair, put on my fanciest freaking outfit and I’m gonna strut next door to my BFF-Forever Roscoe Chubb.

Pugface: (singing)
"COULD EDGAR HAWKE REALLY BE CRASHING AT ROSCOE’S PAD?
I GOT HIS POSTERS ALL OVER THIS ROOM, LEARNED EVERY SONG WITH MY DAD.
OH NO, WILL HE LIKE ME? WILL HE THINK I’M ANY GOOD ON THE BASS?
(sick bass riff)
BUT WHEN I TELL EDGAR HAWKE THAT I KNOW THAT IT'S YOU
CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE

IT AINT JUST ANOTHER TALIASHIRE MORNING
MY GNOMISH SENSES TELL ME SOMETHINGS NEW.
AN ADVENTURE TO UNFOLD. GO FORTH AND BE BOLD.
BEYOND THAT DOOR SOMETHING’S WAITING FOR ME…
SO LET’S SEE!"

(The song abruptly stops)

Pugface:
So Pugface, uh, leaves the place…

Gamemaker:
You rush and head next door. (Song intro starts again) Meanwhile, Edgar Hawke, living in secrecy as “Eddie the Bard,” has just played his first gig in nearly a century. Ninety Nine years and Fifty weeks ago, at the Founder’s Day Centennial, a terrible performance as the lead singer of ElfMother cost him his career. But for the first time since that harrowing event, Edgar feels like a rock star.

Edgar: (singing)
OH GOODNESS ME, I’VE GOT THAT FEELING ONCE MORE.
A LITTLE ROCK AND ROLL GOT INTO MY BONES,
AND NOW I JUST WANT TO HEAR THE CROWD ROAR.
OH GOODNESS ME, WHAT A JOKE, I’M WELL PAST MY PRIME.
STILL I’VE WOKE UP WITH THIS DREAD FOR THE PAST HUNDRED YEARS,
AND SOMETHING FEELS DIFFERENT THIS TIME.

IT’S NOT JUST ANOTHER TALIASHIRE MORNING.
THERE’S AN OLD PART OF ME THAT I’VE RECLAIMED.
IT’LL NEVER BE THE SAME, GONE IS THE FORTUNE AND FAME.
BUT SOMETHING NEW IS WAITING FOR ME…
WILL IT BE…?!

(FX: Knocking at the front door. Songs stops abruptly)

GameMaker:
As he wakes up, he hears an eager rapping on the front door. Edgar, what do you do?

Edgar:
“Hello?”

Pugface:
“Roscoe? Roscoe bud, open up!”

Edgar:
“Roscoe, one of your little friends is here.”

(Song intro starts)

Gamemaker:
The voice of Edgar carries into the bedroom of Roscoe Chubb the halfling drummer, who had a major victory last night getting his new flatmate Eddie out of the house for the first time since he moved in nearly a month ago. (A heavy sigh from Steve/Roscoe) While Eddie played a great set, Roscoe got into an altercation with a tall, obnoxious halfling from North Taliashire named Pascoe Slim. (Lillian giggles) As such, Roscoe had a rather fitful sleep.

Roscoe: (singing)
“DON’T WANNA WAKE UP JUST YET,
STILL LIVING IN A DREAM.
HERE COMES JUST ANOTHER DAY.
THE SAME OLD ROUTINE.
BUT IN THIS DREAM I’M A DRUMMER
PLAYING FOR THE ELVEN GODS.
AND THEY LOSE THEIR SHIT,
AGAINST ALL ODDS
AND SAY…

‘THIS AIN'T JUST ANOTHER TALIASHIRE MORNING!
GREAT ADVENTURE AWAITS; SO GET UP.
A STORY TO BE TOLD, SINCE YOUR LIFE IS GETTING OLD.
THE WINE OF LIFE WILL RUNNETH OVER YOUR CUP.’
COME ON ROSCOE, WAKE UP!”

Gamemaker:
Meanwhile, young Jocasta Stormwood- the half-bear half-woman from the forest- finds herself in the middle of an excruciating conversation. Last night, her mother Minerva suggested Jo take charge of the monthly herb deliveries to the people of South Taliashire. Since this is Jocasta’s first time away from home, she is overpacked for her day trip and underprepared for social interactions. As an old dwarf named Schneider drones on about his back pain, all Jocasta can think is that there’s only one more house to go!

Schneider:
“The more chronic pain didn’t really start until the last couple of years. I spend a lot of time sorta hunched over for my job, so I guess it really chalks up to a workplace hazard…”

Jocasta:
“I-I-I understand. Well…”

Schneider:
“Yeah.”

Jocasta:
“...the, the herb I’ve left you with and that you have paid for…”

Schneider:
“Yes.”

Jocasta:
“...and that we have transacted should, should, do the trick to make that go away.”

Schneider:
“I hope so, I hope so, Jo.”

Jocasta:
“Yea, yea, yea, I--I believe it will, now I really, REALLY gotta go.”

Schneider:
“Oh, oh ok, I’ll let you ru--I’ve actually got a lot ta get around to myself, so uh, yeah you got--”

Gamemaker:
As you close the door behind you, a wave of relief rushes over you knowing you are near the last stop on your delivery route: the home of Roscoe Chubb.

Jocasta:
Jocasta’s feeling really proud of herself.

Jocasta (singing):
I CAN’T BELIEVE I DID THE WHOLE HERB RUN BY MYSELF!
I’M FEELING FINE GOT A BOUNCE IN MY STEP.
BRINGING MY MAMA HOME THE WEALTH.
I GOTTA FEELING LIFE WILL ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS.
NOTHING ON EARTH COULD EVER THREATEN
THIS ETERNAL HERBAL BLISS, OH…

IT’S JUST ANOTHER TALIASHIRE MORNING
I’LL GET MR. CHUBB HIS HERB AND BE ON MY WAY.
GOT MY MAMA WAITIN’ BACK FOR ME IN STORMWOOD.
MY MAGICAL FOREST, HOME WHERE THE ANIMALS PLAY.
THIS IS JUST GREAT!

IT’S ANOTHER TALIASHIRE MORNING!

Roscoe, Pugface & Edgar:
IT AIN’T JUST ANOTHER TALIASHIRE MORNING!

Jocasta:
AND ALL I WANT IS TO CHILL AND SHARE A JAY

Edgar:
(Overlapping): TO ROCK AGAIN SOMEDAY

Roscoe:
(Overlapping): TO FIND MY DESTINAY!

Pugface:
(Overlapping): TO SLAY!

All Four:
THE DIE ARE CAST AND ROLLED. OUR FUTURES TO BEHOLD.
BUT WHO COULD GUESS TILL WE MEET OUR DESTINY?
SO WAIT AND SEE!

(end of song)